For our God is a consuming fire.

-Hebrews 12:29

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Man Plans. God Laughs.

This weekend was not at all as I anticipated. I'm in Florida visiting my parents. The main purpose for this trip was to see my mom after she had her halo removed. We'd planned to have a weekend of beauty treatments: mani/pedis, massages, hair styling, shopping. We did go shopping today and had an amazing time together. The best part of my day (and this trumps even the getting 1/2 price off sale items!) was her telling me I was good for her health; that this was the best she's felt since the accident. It made me so full I could burst. If one was to look down at my left foot, they'd think I did burst... and my innards had all leaked out my big toe.

This past Sunday, I was trying to fold up one of our new, HEAVY tv trays. The thing didn't want to fold up, and in my attempts to shut it, it slipped out of my hands. This 15 lb.+ tray landed on my foot. To avoid completely disgusting graphics, let's just say it landed on my big toe and the nail decided to disengage from the rest of me. Hurt like a mother too.

Monday I called a podiatrist and they couldn't take me in, so I spent over four hours in an urgent care facility. My big toe got all doped up on novacaine, my nail was removed and stitches added. I've been gimping around in a very fashionable medical boot with gauze and surgical tape surrounding my toe. While it's looking better every day, I probably won't be able to put on a shoe for several weeks and God only knows how my vanity is going to handle a nubby toe for the next who-knows-how-long. Oh yeah, and by 'looking better' I only mean it's not oozing goo every second. It's still a nasty, raw, red mess. TMI.

Needless to say, this incident put the kai-bosh on our pedicure plans. I felt like such a heel (hah - feet puns!) after considering the big picture. Here my mother had just barely survived a car accident, spent three months with pins drilled into her skull, carrying around a 35 lb steel halo and vest that could not be removed, confined to her own space, line of sight limited, clautrophobic and in constant pain. I a missing a big toenail. Ummmmm...I need to put on a pair of big girl pants and suck it up sister.

Seeing Mom in person: happy, energetic, optimistic, full of life as compared the Mom of just a few months ago: lifeless, immobile, gaunt, has given me a much needed kick in the pants (soon to be big girl in size). I spend too much timing planning; I like it. My personality finds the planning and organizing process fun. But I spend far too little time DOING. And it's the doing that counts. It's almost all that matters.

So I'm going to be kicking my AblazeyDaisy Do list into full gear. I'm going to take my oldest pair of sneaks, cut off the top of the left shoe and keep exercising as my foot will let me. I'm going to wear that stoopid medical boot with pride, because I can move, walk, sing, hop on one foot, experience, love, play, live. I'm going to spend my last day in Florida tomorrow with both my parents soaking up the wonder that is my family, and in complete thanks for the blessing that saved my Mom, give over to the Lord what I've been holding back. Not so much analyzing, much more doing, being. And laughter, along with God I want to laugh.

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